I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
