she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
