i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
