I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
