just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
