i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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