Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
So squirting runs in the family.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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