Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Vodka?
Forever.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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