I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize