He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i wish my penis had a tongue
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
