she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
