If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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