You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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