shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
