Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
she smelled like a LAN party
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
