Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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