dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
