Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
