Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
