No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Someone shattered a urinal.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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