You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
