Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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