I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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