Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
