singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
