I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
