at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
