I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
