jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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