Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
