Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
i think i just lost a toe
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
