Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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