So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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