i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
