I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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