that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
