Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
