I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
