I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
