literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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