spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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