Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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