i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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