This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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