Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
