Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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