youre lurking in front of me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
