The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
