I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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