What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
