so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
