I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
