just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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