Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I touched a dick in church today
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
