I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
