I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
