is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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