is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
