The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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