I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
