There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
