Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
