There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
