Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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